"Patient Review" joke
A patient in a mental hosptial was being reviewed to determine whether he was ready to be released.
When asked what he would do if he was released, he answered, "I'm going to make a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in the joint."
Needless to say, his release was denied.
A few months later, the board was again considering his release and again they asked him the same question. His reply was the same as the previous time: "I'm going to make a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in the joint."
Again, his release was denied.
Some months later, he was talking with a fellow patient and complaining that he could never seem to get released. The patient asked him what he said when they interviewed him, and he told him. "You'll never get released with answers like that," the fellow patient said. "What you have to do is tell them what they want to hear. Let me give you some advice on how to answer them when they ask you questions."
After a considerable amount of coaching, the man felt he was ready to be reviewed again.
So, again the board met and again they asked him what he would do if he was released. This time, however, he was ready.
"The first thing I'm going to do is get a job, find a place to live, and settle down," he said.
"Very good," the board commented. "and then what?"
"I want to meet a nice girl and start dating," he replied.
The board agreed that he seemed to be making real progress. "And then what?" they asked.
"Well, when we're alone in my apartment one night," he said, "I'm going to make passionate love to my girlfriend. I am going to take her dress off, then take her bra off, lie her down on the bed and gently remove her panties."
Now the board members were really getting excited. "Then what are you going to do?" they asked.
"Then," he replied, "I'm going to take the elastic out of those panties, make myself a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in the joint!"
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