"People Do the Strangest Things" joke

Caught in the Act or Lack of Common Sense
Portsmouth, R.I. Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string of vending
machine robberies in January when he (1) fled from police inexplicably when they
spotted him loitering around a vending machine and (2) later tried to post his
$400 bail in coins.
Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City Florida for robbery of a
Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chain saw, which was
not plugged in.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in
Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned
him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food
order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly
knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money.
It turned out they contained $800 in pennies, weighed 30 pounds each, and
slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped
him from behind.
The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man suspected of
robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it "because he was
busy breaking into a school at the same time". Police then arrested him for
breaking into the school.
Drug-possession defendant Christopher so-and-so, on trial in March in Pontiac,
Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the
officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could
have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same
jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge
discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a
five-minute recess to compose himself.
Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz gave himself five-inch-long welts in March
when he tried to iron his polo shirt while wearing it. "I've ironed that way
five or six times," he said, "and never had it happen."
Dave so-and-so of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently after he attempted to
replace a tubelike fuse in his Chevy pickup with a 22-caliber rifle bullet (used
because it was a perfect fit). However, when electricity heated the bullet, it
went off and shot him in the knee.