"Pet Chimp" joke
A man and his pet chimp are drinking at the local bar and the drunk chimp goes berserk and runs screaming down the length of the bar, spilling drinks, slapping customers, eating peanuts by the handfull, then leaps onto the billiards table and eats the 8-ball.
Needless to say, the bartender bans the two from the bar until the man can properly train his chimp.
Two weeks later, the man and chimp return and after some drinks, the monkey again goes berserk and runs screaming down the length of the bar, slapping customers all the way.
Then he leaps over to the peanut bowl, delicately grabs a single peanut, dips it in his bung hole, then eats it. He repeats this peanut eating process a couple of times and the bartender, angry, asks the man what kind of "training" his monkey has had.
The man says "Hey, cut the little guy some slack. After that 8-ball incident, at least he measures his food now!"
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