"Philia" joke

I thought I would share a transcript of a particularly productive moment in my 9th grade "English" (sic) class:
We watched the end of Zeferelli's "Romeo & Juliet" today in class. During the scene in which Romeo discovers Juliet, who appears to be dead, lying in the Capulet family crypt, the following discussion occurred:
Julio Baez: Yo, he's gonna jump on her!
Ms. Young: Julio, nowhere on this planet would that be an appropriate thing to say.
Julio: No, Ms. Young! I think he's a hermaphrodite!
Ms. Young: Julio, he's not a hermaphrodite.
Julio: No, Ms. Young! For real! There's really people who like to have sex with dead people!
Ms. Young: Yes, but they're not called "hermaphrodites," they're called "necrophiliacs."
Julio: (Aside to Felix) She's so stupid. (To me) No Ms. Young, necrophiliac is when you have that disease where you can't stop bleeding.
At least they're learning something.

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