"Physics Revisited" joke

Gravity was discovered by Sir Isaac Newton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.

You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When planets do it, we say they are orbitting.

The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.

The moon is more useful than the sun, because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the sun shines during the day when you don't need it.

To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

Isn't it meaningless to speak of a 45 degrees angle unless you specify Fahrenheit or Celcius?

An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Doppler effect is the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.