"Questions of the Universe" joke

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.

What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to talk to during orgasm.

Jewish dilemma:
Free PORK.

The three words most hated by men during sex:
"Are you in?"

The three words women hate to hear when having sex:
"Honey, I'm home!"

Why do men take showers instead of baths?
Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off, you wonder where her breasts went.