"Quotable Quotes" joke

"Clearly it's not the life I had before, but I laugh just as much."
O.J. Simpson during his ESPN interview on Thursday (15 Jan. 1998)
"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
Mark Twain
"So, does this prove once and for all that size does matter?"
Golden Globe Award-winning director James Cameron (18 Jan. 1998), whose film "Titanic" is the most expensive in Hollywood history.
..."I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted."
Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why toxic waste should be exported to Third World countries
"We regret the incident but will not press charges... [Bill] commented that one of the worst things about his whole thing was that the pie wasn't that tasty."
Erin Brewer, spokesman for Microsoft's Belgian office, after company chief Bill Gates was struck squarely in the face with a pie upon arrival at a meeting Wednesday (4 Feb. 1998) with business and government leaders in Brussels. Notorious prankster Noel Godin, who has previously targeted such celebrities as French film maker Jean-Luc Godard and actress Brigitte Bardot, claimed responsibility. "This was a victory for us. We will continue to send our burlesque messages," said Godin, adding, "Our secret is our number. There's about 30 of us and we operate in very small groups." Two were arrested but later released when Microsoft declined to press charges.
"I'm proud of my son. I think that spanking paid off, made a man out of him."
Vannie Maud Starr, mother of Whitewater independent counsel Kenneth Starr