"Quotes About Food" joke

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a
fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well
with pizza. -Dave Barry
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
-Lazarus Long, 'Time Enough For Love'
Apparently a new galaxy is being formed or something. But
what it is, is they have discovered a huge cloud of dust
out there. And scientists believe if they could look and
see under the dust, they would find an enormous exercise
bicycle. -Bill Maher
I went on a diet but I had to go on two diets at the same
time because one wasn't giving me enough food. -Barry Marter
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30
years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The
original meal has never been found. -Calvin Trillin
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
Unless there are three other people. -Orson Welles