"REHAB is for quitters" joke

Chuck Norris died years ago than reapears just to afraid to tell him

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left - phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 - are you more...

Remember, no-one is listening until you fart.

A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother:
Dear Grandmother,
I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday.
With love,
Mike

roses are red, violets are corny, when i think of you boy, baby i get horny,
_eat me,
_beat me,
_bite me,
_blow me,
_suck me,
_fuck me,
very slowly, and if you kiss me dont be sassy use your tongue and make it nasty.