"Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Permitted At Work" joke

It's an incentive to show up.
It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
It encourages carpooling.
Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
It eliminates vacations because people would prefer to come to work.
Bosses are more likely to issue raises when they're wasted.
Employees work later since the need to relax at a bar is no longer necessary.
It reduces stress.
It reduces complaints about low pay.
Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
It makes fellow employees look better.
It makes cafeteria food taste better.
Suddenly, belching during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
It leads to more honest communications.