"Redneck Census Form!" joke

The official year 2000 Redneck Census Form:Last name: _______________________First name: (Check appropriate box)(_)Billy-Bob(_)Billy-Joe(_)Billy-Ray(_)Billy-Sue(_)Billy-Mae(_)Billy-JackWhat does everyone call you?(_)Booger(_)Bubba(_)Junior(_)Sissy(_)Other____________Age:____ (if unsure, guess)Sex:____ M ____ F ____Not sureShoe size:____ Left ____ RightOccupation:(Check appropriate box)(_)Farmer(_)Mechanic(_)Hair Dresser(_)Unemployed(_)Dirty Politician(_)PreacherSpouse's Name:_____________2nd Spouse's Name:_______________3rd Spouse's Name:_______________Lover's Name:_______________Relationship with spouse:(Check appropriate box)(_)Sister(_)Brother(_)Aunt(_)Uncle(_)Cousin (_)Mother(_)Father(_)Son(_)Daughter(_)PetNumber of children living in the home:_____Number of the children living in the shed:_____Number that are yours:_____Mother's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)Father's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade commpleted)(Check appropriate box)Total number of vehicles you own:___Number of vehicles that still crank:___Number of vehicles in front yard:___Number of vehicles in the back yard:___Number of vehicles on cement blocks:___Firearms you own and where you keep them:____truck____bedroom____bathroom____kitchen____shedModel and year of your pickup:196_Do you have a gun rack?(_)Yes (_)No; If no, please explain:Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:(_)The National Enquirer(_)The Globe(_)TV Guide(_)Soap Opera Digest(_)Rifle and ShotgunNumber of times you've seen a UFO:_____Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:___Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:____How often do you bathe?(_)Weekly(_)Monthly(_)Not ApplicableColor of eyes: Left_____ Right_____Color of hair:(_)Blond(_)Black(_)Red(_)Brown(_)White(_)ClairolColor of teeth:(_)White(_)Yellow(_)Brownish-Yellow(_)Brown(_)Black(_)N/ABrand of chewing tobacco you prefer:(_)Red-ManHow far is your home from a paved road?(_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)just a whoop-and-a-holler(_)road?

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