"Refrigerator Goals" joke
When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for
himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.I promptly added: "Send Michelle money every month."A few days later my brother wrote: "Make payments on car for Jason."Then my boyfriend joined in with: "Buy Tom a Jeep."Finally my father added a new goal to his amended list: "Wean kids."
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site."
Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...