"Repairman" joke
A woman is having a problem with her closet door, it was falling off every time a bus was passing by.
So she called a repair man.
The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls off every time a bus passes by.
"OK, I'm going to see what is going on, just close the door behind me" and he steps into the closet.
Just then, the husband comes from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman.
Husband: "What the hell are you doing here!"
Repairman: "Well, you're not going to believe it, but I'm waiting for a bus!"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.