"Resolutions You Won't Keep" joke

10 -
I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1. 44MB disk.
- 9 -
I will stop sending email to my roommate.
- 8 -
I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
- 7 -
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email.
- 6 -
When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
- 5 -
I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK, dear... I'm coming. Never mind.
- 4 -
No more downloads from alt. binaries.*
- 3 -
I resolve to back up my new 1GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...
- 2 -
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Net. Your standard response, "And happy holidays to you too, you bastard"
- 1 -
I won't try to get onto the Netscape ftp site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out.
- 0 -
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won't reply "Microsoft Tech Support."
- -1 -
I will read the manual.
- -2 -
I will think of a password other than "password."
- -3 -
I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.