"Sandpaper sally" joke

A man walks into a whore house. And asks for a whore.
Man says I only have one left and trust me you dont want her.
Guy says I dont care I just wanna fuck.
So they get in the room and he sticks it in and says damn what is that, go fix it do something.
She goes in the bathroom comes out 15 min later.
He sticks it in again and says yeah thats better.
They go at it for a while.
When the're done the guy asks, what did you do to make it so much better?
She says: picked my scabs.

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...

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