"Scared ???" joke
A plane was taking off from New Delhi Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announnncement over the intercom.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain, Banta speaking. Welcome to Flight No. 333, nonstop from New Delhi to London. The weather ahead is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now, just sit back and relax."
Then he quickly yells out loud - "OH MY GOD!"
Dead silence followed. After a few minutes, the pilot comes back on the intercom and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was speaking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it all over my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
Santa in Coach shouts back, "That's nothing, you should see the back of mine!"
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could more...
all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol