"Secrets Of The Music Biz" joke
1. The badness of a musical composition is directly proportional to the number of violas in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why instrumental parts are written in transposed pitch. (Especially trumpet parts in E.)
3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have perfect pitch are telling you that their sense of relative pitch is defective.
4. The most valuable function performed by a Wagnerian opera is its ability to drown out a rock concert.
5. You should never say anything to a sideman that even remotely sounds like a compliment unless you are prepared to pay double scale.
6. A string sample saved is worthless.
7. Wynton Marsalis can hold all the Lincoln Center Jazz Concerts he wants. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms will still prefer Yanni.
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