"Segway Owner and Macho Man" joke
A man was riding his Segway and some big 'macho' guy with a really ditsy girl hanging off his arm stopped him. The man put his cigarette in his mouth (the cool way, you know, with thumb & forefinger), took a deep breath in and said, "You're gonna get fat." So, Segway owner put his thumb and forefinger up to his mouth, took a deep breath, and replied with, "You're gonna get cancer." Macho guy stared at Segway owner with a 'how dare you' type of look while his girl had more of a confused 'I don't get it' type of face. Segway owner just smiled and rode off. :)
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...
There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board.
The headquarters in the US calls:"Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to comms for instructions."
He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...