"Segway Owner and Macho Man" joke
A man was riding his Segway and some big 'macho' guy with a really ditsy girl hanging off his arm stopped him. The man put his cigarette in his mouth (the cool way, you know, with thumb & forefinger), took a deep breath in and said, "You're gonna get fat." So, Segway owner put his thumb and forefinger up to his mouth, took a deep breath, and replied with, "You're gonna get cancer." Macho guy stared at Segway owner with a 'how dare you' type of look while his girl had more of a confused 'I don't get it' type of face. Segway owner just smiled and rode off. :)
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...
There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board.
The headquarters in the US calls:"Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to comms for instructions."
He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the more...