"Shopping for funeral services (true story)" joke

This really happened:
I was calling funeral homes getting information about making "pre-need"
funeral arrangements for an elderly relative. The woman I talked with
at [name deleted] funeral home, just across the street from St.
[mother of God's name deleted]'s Catholic Church told me, "...and that
cemetery requires a burial vault. Most of the cemeteries around here
now require a vault. The lowest price vault we have is $552. The most
popular one is $772 and it comes with a lifetime guarantee."

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