"Signs a woman may have PMS" joke

She stops reading Cosmo and starts reading Guns and Ammo.

She buys $100 worth of chocolate and justifies it by saying "But honey, I just know it's one of the major food groups."

She puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding her broom.

She's suddenly developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360 degree circles.

She retains more water than Lake Superior.

She denies she's in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her semiautomatic and "chambers a round."

She buys me a new T-shirt with a "bulls eye" on the front.

When I ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table and she says, "All I ever do is give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING?"

She enrolls in the Lizzie Borden School of Charm.

She orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken McNuggets, and then mauls the manager because they're out of Diet Coke.