"Some interesting facts" joke

Throughout numerous cultures, the concept of the devil has been a constant, yet his name has varied. For instance, In German legend he has been called Krumnase meaning "crooked nose", Ziegenbart meaning "goatbeard", Spiegelglanz meaning "mirror-sight" and finally Shortzenanklez meaning "guy with shorts around his ankles".
Where the odds of getting hit by lightning are almost 1 in a million, the odds are only 1 in 5 that some day you'll get rear-ended in a parking lot by a guy named "Herb".
Although hard to believe, of 1000 proctologists polled, over 79% say that in any given work day, they use the word "AND" far more than they use the word "BUT".
Of 3 million women movie-goers polled, 2.1 million stated that what a date orders at the snack bar can provide an initial indication of that person as a sexual partner. All 2.1 million stated that a date who orders Goobers has "no chance in hell."
In 1994, over 39 million Americans borrowed tools from their next door neighbors. To date, only 6 have been returned.
Most people know that the currencies of Japan and England are the "yen" and the "pound", respectively. But most people don't know that the basic unit of currency for the country of Yemen is the "dungbuck".
Mary Mallon, a cook who lived in New York City around 1900, was identified as a chronic carrier of the typhoid bacilli. She was the cause of at least 53 outbreaks of typhoid fever and hence became known as "Typhoid Mary." She is not to be confused with "Buffoon Tyler", a man who lived in New Jersey in the early seventies, who constantly wore his shorts over his pants.
Mildred Farmer was a baker of connfections in Dorchester, Massachusetts in the late 1800s. While contemporary history remembers her as a charmingly maternal figure, she was actually a visciously competitive woman who would sneek into her competitors' kitchens and sit on their chocolate creations with her bare buttocks, hence earning her the nickname "Fanny".
In the 1960's and 1970's, scientists conducted experiments on how different forms of music affected plant development. They found that plants exposed to classical music responded most favorably with lush and abundant growth and good root development. Jazz music produced a slight increase in growth. Exposure to country music brought about no significant changes. And last, but not least, those plants exposed to acid rock were quickly picked and smoked.

comments (0)