"Speeding Ticket" joke
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange.
Officer: "May I see your driver's license?"
Driver: "I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI."
Officer: "May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?"
Driver: "It's not my car. I stole it."
Officer: "The car is stolen?"
Driver: "That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card
in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there."
Officer: "There's a gun in the glove box?"
Driver: "Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who
owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk."
Officer: "There's a body in the trunk?!"
Driver: "Yes, sir."
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly
surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense
situation
Captain: "Sir, can I see your license?"
Driver: "Sure. Here it is."
It is valid.
Captain: "Who's car is this?"
Driver: "It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card."
The driver owned the car.
Captain: "Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in
it?"
Driver: "Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it."
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: "Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body
in it."
Driver: "No problem."
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: "I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him
you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that
there was a dead body in the trunk."
Driver: "Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too."
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