"Student ATM" joke

As a poor student, these are things you definitely would NOT want to see happen at the ATM...
* You go to get a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen says: "Not worth wasting paper.", and ejects your card.
* You try to get a balance inquiry, and the screen says: "Account not found." and keeps your card.
* You insert your card, and try to get some cash, and the ATM laughs and spits out your shredded card.
* You withdraw some money to pay some bills, count it, and the screen says: "What, you thought there was some EXTRA there? HA!", and ejects your card clear across the room.
* You think you've got

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