"Talking Centipede" joke
A man decides that he wants a pet, but not just any pet, a really unusual pet. He walks into the pet store and goes up to the service assistant. "Excuse me, I want a pet, but not just any pet, a really unusual pet".
The service assistant says "I have just the thing for you, it's a talking centipede". "Great!" the man exclaims, "I'll take it!"
The man takes the centipede home in his little box and places him on the kitchen table. He looks into the box and says: "Hey centipede, what about you and me going to the tavern for a beer?" The centipede doesn't answer, so the guy thinks, I'll just go off for five minutes and come back and ask again.
Five minutes pass and the guy returns to the centipede, "Hey centipede, how about you and me go to the tavern for a beer?" Again, the centipede doesn't answer him. Hmmmmm the guy thinks to himself, I'll just go off and watch this TV show, come back and ask him again.
Half an hour passes and the guy returns to the centipede. I'll just ask him one more time he tells himself. "Hey centipede, how about you and me go to the tavern for a beer?' The centipede looks up at the man and says, "Give me a break man, I heard you the first time! I'm still putting my shoes on."
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