"Temperance Sermon" joke
A preacher from the deep south was finishing a temperance sermon. "If I had all the beer in the world," he said with expression, "I would take it and pour it into the river."
"And if I had all the wine in the world," he continued, with even greater emphasis, "I would take it and pour it into the river."
And finally, he cried, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I would take it and pour it into the river."
Having completed the sermon, he sat down.
At that point, the song leader rose and, with a sheepish grin, cautiously announced, "For our closing, let us sing Hymn #279, 'Shall We Gather At The River'."
At a gynecologists convention Dr. Goldfinger began to read his paper on "The Variation of the Clitoris".
"One of the most unusual cases I ever came across," he told his audience, "was a clitoris that had a close resemblance to a more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Dewayne, his wife, and Dewayne's mother-in-law went camping over the 4th of July weekend. Dewayne's wife announced that her mother had been gone from her stroll in the woods way too long.
So the two of them went looking for her.
After a while they spotted a gigantic, more...
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...