"The Bachelor Diet" joke

The Bachelor DietMondayBreakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallowsome toothpaste while brushing your teethLunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers"- those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime butnow cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, abowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on theway back for a family size bottle of maalox. Afternoon Snack - Drink the maaloxDinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chickenthree-piece Dinner, don't eat the coleslaw. TuesdayBreakfast - Eat the coleslawLunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninetyfive cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eatwhatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea. Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's. WednesdayBreakfast - Jaws couldn't eat Breakfast after a night atEl Flasho'sLunch - Rolaids and a cokeDinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg forscrapsThursdayBreakfast - Order out for pizzaLunch - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbombersack forleftovers. Dinner - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you gethungry ask the bartender for olives. FridayBreakfast - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes betterand it's better for you. Lunch - Skip Lunch, Fridays are murderDinner - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don'teat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus. SaturdayBreakfast - Sleep through it. Lunch - DittoDinner - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant themin a hanging basket. SundayBreakfast - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie. Lunch - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch. Dinner - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her aboutrenting your old room.

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