"The Computer doctor. (this is a laugh!!!!)" joke

A man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor. His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a
computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and
cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the
computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do
about it. It only costs $10. 00." The man figured he had nothing to lose,
so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding
the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The
computer started making some noises and the various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which
was printed:

You have tennis elbow

Soak your arm in warm water.

Avoid heavy labor

It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was
and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if
this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.
He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and
urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated
into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the
machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The machine
again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:

Your tap water is too hard
Get a water softener.
Your dog has worms
Give him vitamins.
Your daughter's on drugs,
Put her in rehab.
Your wife's pregnant
It ain't yours---get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off,
Your tennis elbow will never get better.