"The Honeymoon Begins" joke
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally gets himself to the doctor.
He says, " How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said, " I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.
She says, " You are my first, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says... " Look at this, it's still in the crate!"
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