"The Last Thing You Would EVER Hear a Man Say....." joke

1. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?

2. Her tits are just too big.

3. Sometimes I just want to be held.

4. Sure I'd love to wear a condom.

5. We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.

6. I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask for directions.

7. Honey, I'm going to the store, do you need more tampons?

8. This shower curtain doesn't have enough frills on it.

9. Damn, too bad this car isn't a four cylinder.

10. It's OK, I'll sleep in the wet spot.

11. I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.

12. Great, your mother's coming to stay with us again.

13. No way, you weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.

14. Better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines. I don't look at them any more.

15. I understand.

16. This movie has too much nudity.

17. Damn, we're late for church!

18. Hey, watermelon bathroom air-freshener pot-pourri. Let's get some!