"The MacPhearson Saga" joke
A Brigadier General was inspecting a Scots Highland in full parade dress. There were rows and rows of kilted brawny fine Scotsmen. As the Brigadier General started down the 3rd row he noticed a strapping lad at the end had a problem with something hanging below the hem of his kilt. As he approached the end of the row he stopped in front of this particular fellow, and looked him up and down.
"How long have ye ben in the regiment yung mun?" he asked
"Sur, I ben in the regiment abou' thrai yaars."
"Whu' might be yur name yung mun?"
"Me name's MacPhearson, Sur."
"Yur a credit to th' regiment, kape upp the gud wurk," said the Brigadier General as he moved on.
As the Brigadier General came to the 7th row he noticed another young man with something even longer below the hem of his kilt. He approached him and said,
"How long have ye ben in the regiment yung mun?"
"I've been with th' regiment abou' fav' yaars, sur," was the reply.
"Whu' might be yur name yung mun?"
"Me name's MacPhearson, Sur."
"yur a fin' strappin' specimen of manhud. Might yu han' a yunger bruther in the thaird row?"
"Aye, sur. He's me yunger bruther."
"Yur a credit to th' regiment, kape up the gud wurk," said the Brigadier General as he moved on.
As the Brigadier General came to the last row he noticed another young man with something actually hanging to the ground below the hem of his kilt. He approached him and said,
"How long have ye ben in the regiment yung mun?"
"I've ben in th' regiment abou' ten yaars, sur," was the reply.
"Yur name is nai MacPhearson, by any stretch of the imagination, is ut?"
"Aye sur, how did yu figur' tha?"
"Du yu hav' yunger bruthers in the regiment?"
"Aye, sur, 2. How did yu fugur' me name was MacPhearson, sur?"
"Ye and yur bruthers bear a strong family resemblance to each uther."
"Aye sur, we hav' the family nose."
"Wull, I was nai exactly referin' to yur nose. Yu and yur bruthers seem to be very well endowed."
"Ach, sur tha's nai a family resemblance. Me Muther only had one arm and tha's how she used to pluck us from the cradle!"
---THE END---
One night a woman goes up to a Scottish man wearing a kilt in the bar. She asks him the age old question, "So, what do you wear under your kilt?"
In response he says, "On a good night, lipstick."