"The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking" joke

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of
real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including,
but not limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney
in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick AKA/St. Nicholas AKA/Santa Claus
(hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter.
The minor residents, i.e., the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual
beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e., dreams, wherein visions of confectionery
treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and
otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as "I"), being the
joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"),
and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad
in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.)
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property
adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature,
cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the
House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief,
a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the
air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact
was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8)
reindeer and specifically identified