"The Sheik" joke
Three american businessmen were on a trip to Saudi Arabia when they stumbled upon a harem filled with gorgeous girls. They went in and were getting really "friendly" with the harem-girls when the Sheik returned and caught them in the act.
He had them tied up and told them that they would each die in a manner befitting their professions.
"What is your profession?" He asked the first guy.
"I'm a policeman", he replied.
"His penis... Shoot it off!" the Sheik shreiked.
"You... What is your profession?" He then asked the second american.
"I'm a fireman.", he replied.
"His penis... Burn it off!" he bellowed.
The third guy simply stood there smiling.
"Why are you smiling?... Never mind. What is your profession?", the Sheik asked.
He gingerly replied, "I'm a lollipop salesman".
A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:
The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do more...
Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench, and a bum comes up to them.
"Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"
The Polish guys look at each other, and one of more...
A Cuban, a Japaneze guy, an American and a Mexican are in a boat.
The Cuban pulls out a box of cigars, takes one and throws the rest
in the water. He puffs twice and throws it in the water.
He says, "We have so many cigars in cuba, we can spare more...
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the more...
There were these three American Indians sitting around this campfire one night, discussing where their parents got their names from.
The first Indian said, "My parents decided to call me Jumping Deer because when they were conceiving me, a deer went jumping over more...