"The Stages of Life - Male" joke

AgeFAVORITE DRINK
16beer
21bourbon
30vodka
45double vodka
70Maalox
AgeSEDUCTION LINE
16My parents are away for the weekend.
21My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
30My fiancee is away for the weekend.
45My wife is away for the weekend.
70My second wife is dead.
AgeFAVORITE SPORT
16sex
21sex
30sex
45sex
70napping
AgeDEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
16"tongue"
21"breakfast"
30"She didn't set back my therapy."
45"I didn't have to meet her kids."
70"Got home alive."
AgeFAVORITE FANTASY
16getting to third
21airplane sex
30menage a trois
45taking the company public
70Swiss maid/love slave
AgeHOUSE PET
16roaches
21stoned-out college roommate
30Irish setter
45children from his first marriage
70Barbi
AgeWHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
1621
2130
3045
4570
7016
AgeIDEAL DATE
16Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
21"Split the check before we go back to my place"
30"Just come over."
45"Just come over and cook."
70sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.