"The Worst Job interviews ever!" joke

We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent
most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't
bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch.
If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify
ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light
years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of
100 major American corporations and asked for stories of
unusual behavior by job applicants. The lowlights:
1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job
application."
2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and
the music at the same time."
3. "A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to
office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the
personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a
hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office -
wiping the ketchup on her sleeve"
6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his
loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his
forearm."
7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on
answering specific interview questions."
8. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and
started tap dancing around my office."
9 . "At the end of the interview, while I stood there
dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed
his hair, and left."
10. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash
picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who
interviewed him."
11. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too
much."
12. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant
took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos
only, stopping longest at the centerfold."
13. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from th