"The lily-white dick" joke
There is this guy who really takes care of his body. He lifts weights and jogs every day.
One morning he's looking in the mirror, admiring his body, as is his habit. He notices, however, that he has an even, golden-brown tan all over his body with the exception of his dick, which is completely white. He immediately decides to do something about it.
He goes to the beach early in the morning, and completely undresses, then buries himself in the sand, except for his snow-white member, which he leaves sticking out of the sand, liberally coated with sunscreen.
A while later, as the sun rises above the yardarm, two elderly ladies are strolling along the beach, one of them so rickety she is using a cane. They walk right up to where the man is buried, and notice his dick sticking out of the sand. One of the old ladies begins to poke his dick around with her cane.
She turns to her companion and says, "There really is no justice in the world."
Her friend looks at her with some puzzlement and says, "What do you mean?"
The cane-wielding lady says "When I was 20 I was curious about it, when I was 30 I enjoyed it, when I was 40 I asked for it, when I was 50 I paid for it, when I was 60 I prayed for it, and when I was 70 I forgot about it. Now that I'm 80 the damned things are growing wild and I'm too old to SQUAT!"
Four men went to play golf.
Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and more...