"The old lady" joke
Hetty, a little old lady, gets onto a crowded bus in Hendon in the middle of a heat-wave and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, Hetty says to the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat." The girl gets up and gives up the seat to Hetty. The girl then takes out a fan and starts to fan herself. Hetty looks up and says, "If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan." The girl gives Hetty her fan.
A short while later, Hetty gets up and says to the bus driver, "Stop, I want to get off here." The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next bus stop, not in the middle of the road. Her hand across her chest, Hetty tells the driver, "If you knew what I have, you would let me out here." The bus driver pulls over and lets Hetty out. As she's walking out of the bus, he asks, "Madam, what is it that you have?" "Chutzpah," Hetty replies.
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