Hetty Jokes

The proposal
Shlomo and Hetty, an elderly widow and widower, had been dating for about three years when Shlomo finally decided to ask Hetty to marry him. She immediately said "yes".
The next morning when he awoke, Shlomo couldn`t remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so. Wait, no, she looked at me funny..."
After about an hour of trying to remember, but to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave Hetty a call.
Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn`t remember her answer to his proposal.
"Oh", Hetty said, "I`m so glad you called. I remembered saying `yes` to someone, but I couldn`t remember who it was."

The holiday
Michael and Hetty, an elderly couple, are on holiday in Devon when they decide to take a drive into the countryside. Hette is driving when she gets stopped by a traffic policeman.
The officer comes up to the car and says to her, “Madam, did you know you were speeding?”
Hette turns to Michael and asks him, “What did he say?”
Michael yells back at her, “He says you were speeding.”
The policeman then says to Hette, “May I see your driving licence?”
Hette turns to Michael and asks him, “What did he say?”
Michael yells back at her, “He wants to see your driving licence.”
So Hette gives the officer her licence.
The policeman looks at the licence and then says, “Ah. I see you are both from Golders Green in London. I spent some time there many years ago and I’ll always remember the time that I went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I have ever seen in my life.”
Hette turns to Michael and asks him, more...

Hetty, a little old lady, gets onto a crowded bus in Hendon in the middle of a heat-wave and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, Hetty says to the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat." The girl gets up and gives up the seat to Hetty. The girl then takes out a fan and starts to fan herself. Hetty looks up and says, "If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan." The girl gives Hetty her fan.
A short while later, Hetty gets up and says to the bus driver, "Stop, I want to get off here." The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next bus stop, not in the middle of the road. Her hand across her chest, Hetty tells the driver, "If you knew what I have, you would let me out here." The bus driver pulls over and lets Hetty out. As she's walking out of the bus, he asks, "Madam, what is it that you have?" "Chutzpah," Hetty replies.