Proposal Jokes

The proposal
Shlomo and Hetty, an elderly widow and widower, had been dating for about three years when Shlomo finally decided to ask Hetty to marry him. She immediately said "yes".
The next morning when he awoke, Shlomo couldn`t remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so. Wait, no, she looked at me funny..."
After about an hour of trying to remember, but to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave Hetty a call.
Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn`t remember her answer to his proposal.
"Oh", Hetty said, "I`m so glad you called. I remembered saying `yes` to someone, but I couldn`t remember who it was."

Joe had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?"
"No, she sure didn't," sobbed Joe. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out."
"Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? 'Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.' Did you tell her that?" asked his father.
"Oh boy, dad, I got it all wrong," Joe groaned. "I said, 'Dear, your face would stop a clock!'"

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said' yes'.

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was!' Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny...'

After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

' Oh', she said,' I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying' yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was.'

7 glance = 1 smile

7 smile = 1 meeting

7 meeting = 1 kiss

7 kisses = 1 proposal

7 proposal = 1 marriage -

And that 1 bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!

I found this on a gopher, hence do not know the author's name.
The Court of King George III
London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Jefferson:
We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for further refinement.
The questions which follow might assist you in your process of revision:
In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God." What are these laws? In what way are they the criteria on which you base your central arguments? Please document with citations from the recent literature.
In the same paragraph you refer to the more...