Specific Jokes

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    Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.
    History: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, America, Asia, and Africa. Be brief can concise, yet specific.
    Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.
    Pre-Med: You will be provided with a rusty razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a full bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Don't suture until your work as been inspected. You have 15 minutes.
    Public Speaking: Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aboriginals are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except more...

    Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, in conjunction with research associate Dr. Ed Bluestone of the Surgeon General's office, has compiled for non-confidential distribution a list of activities which, while not definitely linked to death or established as causative factors in any specific form of physical or physiological deterioration, have been determined through exhaustive reiteration to be detrimental to the human condition and specifically to the welfare of their perpetrator.
    While implementation of any of these activities is not specifically illegal as cited by state or federal jurisdictions, engagement in any of said activities could very probably be construed as a gross breach of common etiquette constraints and/or moral codes and analogs.
    Widespread or accelerated participation in any of the listed activities by an increasing or superannuated segment of the population would be frowned on by and erosive to all reasonable, respected, and stalwart facets of American more...

    Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, in conjunction with research associate Dr. Ed Bluestone of the Surgeon General's office, has compiled for non-confidential distribution a list of activities which, while not definitely linked to death or established as causative factors in any specific form of physical or physiological deterioration, have been determined through exhaustive reiteration to be detrimental to the human condition and specifically to the welfare of their perpetrator.While implementation of any of these activities is not specifically illegal as cited by state or federal jurisdictions, engagement in any of said activities could very probably be construed as a gross breach of common etiquette constraints and/or moral codes and analogs.Widespread or accelerated participation in any of the listed activities by an increasing or superannuated segment of the population would be frowned on by and erosive to all reasonable, respected, and stalwart facets of American society.The more...

    Instructions
    Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately. History
    Descrive the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially but not exclusively, on it social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific. Medicine
    You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes. Public Speaking
    2500 riot-crazed aboriginies are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek. Biology
    Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if the form of life had developed 50 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis. Music
    Write a piano concerto. more...

    I found this on a gopher, hence do not know the author's name.
    The Court of King George III
    London, England
    July 10, 1776
    Mr. Thomas Jefferson
    c/o The Continental Congress
    Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
    Dear Mr. Jefferson:
    We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for further refinement.
    The questions which follow might assist you in your process of revision:
    In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God." What are these laws? In what way are they the criteria on which you base your central arguments? Please document with citations from the recent literature.
    In the same paragraph you refer to the more...

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