Opinions Jokes

A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a resident New Yorker. He asked, "Excuse me, I would like to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?" The Saudi replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?" The Russian said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?" The North Korean replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?" The New Yorker replied, "Excuse me, but what is 'excuse me?'"

Opinions are indeed like assholes, some are just bigger than others.

Trading online is just great. I find it really speeds things up.
I now get my margin calls 5x faster than before.
If you put two investors in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of them is a pump and dumper, in which case you get three opinions.
What is the easiest way to spot a Shorter on a Message Board or Chat room
Look for the ones who seem to have more questions than the press at a White House briefing.

I found this on a gopher, hence do not know the author's name.
The Court of King George III
London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Jefferson:
We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for further refinement.
The questions which follow might assist you in your process of revision:
In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God." What are these laws? In what way are they the criteria on which you base your central arguments? Please document with citations from the recent literature.
In the same paragraph you refer to the more...

Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and everyone elses' stinks.