"Opinions are indeed like assholes" joke

One day a little boy was playing with his airplane in the dining room while his mom was in the kitchen making dinner.
He decided that it was time for the plane to come in for a landing.
He set it down on the table and said, "All you assholes who want to get off, get more...

A man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the body was so badly burned that somebody would need to make a positive identification. That task fell to George's two friends, Joe and Al.
Joe: "He's burnt pretty bad, all right. Roll him more...