Proposal Jokes / Recent Jokes

To find out, Take this handy quiz:
You have prepared a proposal for your supervisor. The success of this
proposal will mean increasing your salary 20%. In the middle of your
proposal your supervisor leans over to look at your report and spits into
your
coffee.
You:
A. Tell him you take your coffee black.
(b) Ask him if he has any communicable diseases.
(c) Show him who's in command; promptly take a piss in his "In"
basket.
(d) Take a sip and comment how much better it tastes.
You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an
uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Since this is definitely a no-no,
you:
A. Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one
fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril right up
to the 4th joint.
(b) Get everyone drunk and organize a nose picking contest with a
prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
(c) Drop your napkin on the more...

The Court of King George IIILondon, EnglandJuly 10, 1776Mr. Thomas Jeffersonc/o The Continental CongressPhiladelphia, PennsylvaniaDear Mr. Jefferson: We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for further refinement. The questions which follow might assist you in your process of revision: 1. In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God." What are these laws? In what way are they the criteria on which you base your central arguments? Please document with citations from the recent literature. 2. In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind." Whose polling data are you using? Without specific evidence, it seems to us more...

A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty foreign girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her.
HE WROTE:
Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation. I have a strong indication to become your relation. As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication that I have passed my atriculation examination; no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation. What do you say to the solemnisation of our marriage celebration according to the glorification of modern civilisation and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation.

On your approbation of the application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration it will be our argumentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint more...

A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty foreign girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her.

HE WROTE:

Most worthy of your estimation
after a long consideration
and much mediation.
I have a strong indication
to become your relation.
As to my educational qualification,
it is no exaggeration or fabrication
that I have passed my matriculation examination;
no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation.
What do you say to the solemnization
of our marriage celebration
according to the glorification of modern civilization
and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation.

On your approbation of the application,
I shall make preparation to improve my situation,
and if such obligation is worthy of consideration
it more...

When to Propose... Or Not
Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before proposing marriage.

* In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that square thing?"

* Does she use the phrase "you know" more than twice per sentence?

* Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a plastic surgeon.

* Have you noticed her name tattoed on three or more local bikers?

* Have you noticed three or more local bikers' names tattooed on her?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an old boyfriend's?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the Green Bay Packers?

* Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?

* Has she ever used the word poo-poo?

* If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the word sex?

* Does her resume include a more...

A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty foreign girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her. HE WROTE: Most worthy of your estimation
after a long consideration
and much mediation.
I have a strong indication
to become your relation.
As to my educational qualification,
it is no exaggeration or fabrication
that I have passed my matriculation examination;
no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation.
What do you say to the solemnization
of our marriage celebration
according to the glorification of modern civilization
and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation. On your approbation of the application,
I shall make preparation to improve my situation,
and if such obligation is worthy of consideration
it will be our argumentation of the more...

In the last year of his service a certain babuji was made head of the cash section. He introduced a new system whereby his prior approval was required in writing before any purchases could be made. It worked so well that he decided to introduce the same system in his home.
One Sunday, his wife sent him a note saying that the children wanted to eat pakoras, hence a sum of Rs. 50 may kindly be sanctioned for purchasing oil, besan, paalak, etc. The husband recorded that oil and besan had become too costly and beyond the reach of a middle class family like theirs; hence the proposal was rejected.
Next Sunday his wife sent another note saying that she wanted to accompany her friends to a movie, hence an amount of Rs. 100 be kindly sanctioned for a cinema ticket and refreshments. The husband recorded that the pay of a government employee is almost finished by the 20th of the month and it being the last Sunday of the month, there was no money left with him. The proposal may be more...