"Are You Management Material?" joke
To find out, Take this handy quiz:
You have prepared a proposal for your supervisor. The success of this
proposal will mean increasing your salary 20%. In the middle of your
proposal your supervisor leans over to look at your report and spits into
your
coffee.
You:
A. Tell him you take your coffee black.
(b) Ask him if he has any communicable diseases.
(c) Show him who's in command; promptly take a piss in his "In"
basket.
(d) Take a sip and comment how much better it tastes.
You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an
uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Since this is definitely a no-no,
you:
A. Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one
fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril right up
to the 4th joint.
(b) Get everyone drunk and organize a nose picking contest with a
prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
(c) Drop your napkin on the floor and when you bend over to pick
it up, blow your nose on your sock.
You have just returned from a trip to Green Bay, Wisconsin in January and
tell your boss that nobody but ladies of the evening and football players
live there. He mentions that his wife is from Green Bay. You:
A. Pretend you are suffering from amnesia and don't
remember your name.
(b) Ask what position she played.
(c) Ask if she is still working the streets.
(d) Pull lacy underwear from your raincoat pocket and ask
if he recognizes the label.
You are having lunch with a prospective vendor talking about what could be
your best deal of the year. During the conversation a blonde walks into the
restaurant and she is so stunning you draw your companion's attention to her
and give a vivid description of what you would do if you had her alone in
your hotel. She walks over to your table and the vendor introduces her as
his daughter. Your next move is to:
A. Ask for her hand in marriage.
(b) Pass out and hope for sympathy.
(c) Forget the business; repeat the conversation to the
daughter and get her number.
(d) Turn red and slink off into the men's room.
You are making a sales presentation to a group of corporate executives in
the plushest office you've ever seen. The enchillada casserole and egg
salad sandwich you had for lunch react, creating severe pressure. Your
sphincter loses control and you break wind, causing the glass bookcase
doors to shatter and a secretary to pass out. You:
A. Offer to come back next week when the smell has gone away.
(b) Point to the Chief Executive and accuse him of the offense.
(c) Challenge anyone in the room to do better.
The proposal
Shlomo and Hetty, an elderly widow and widower, had been dating for about three years when Shlomo finally decided to ask Hetty to marry him. She immediately said "yes".
The next morning when he awoke, Shlomo couldn`t remember what her answer was! more...
Joe had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?"
"No, she sure didn't," sobbed Joe. "When I told her what you advised me to more...