"The parrot who wouldn't talk." joke

A person wanted a parrot who talked. Going to the pet store, this lover of talking parrots asked if there was a bird who was already speaking. "Yes," the pet store owner said, "this bird has a vocabulary of about 1000 words plus 50 phrases guaranteed to fit most occasions." The deal was made and the parrot was brought home complete with a cage. The next day the purchaser went back and said the parrot had yet to say a word. "That's to be expected," said the pet shop owner. "Try getting the bird a few of the toys that were here for the bird to use in the shop. It just needs to feel at home with you." Toys were purchased and a day went by. The parrot's owner returned and said there still had been no talking. "I see," said the pet shop owner. "Perhaps if you got a bird bath, the parrot would start to talk while using it." A bird bath was purchased and yet another day went by. The next day the owner was back with the same complaint. This time the pet shop owner mentioned that sometimes the bird had been praised in its training by being allowed to ring a little bell. The parrot's owner bought the bell reluctantly. The following day the parrot's owner was there waiting as the store opened. "Still no luck?" asked the store owner. "No. Nothing said yet," answered the bird's owner. "Well, I bet the bird's just lonesome for some of the birds here at the shop." "What? You want me to buy another bird!?!" yelped the unhappy owner of the parrot. "No, no, calm down," reassured the store owner. "All you have to do is get a mirror and the bird will think it has a companion." At last the sale of a mirror was agreed upon. The pet store owner the next day opened the store and found the troublesome customer had returned. .. this time with the parrot, only it was dead! "What happened?" asked the store owner, "Didn't the bird ever talk?" "Yes, right before it died it said: What's the matter? Don't they sell birdseed at the pet store anymore?"

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because,' It's a lot of money!'

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her more...

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A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your more...

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