"The rules of chocolate" joke
~ If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. ~ Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries - all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. ~ The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the shop in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the car park. ~ Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. ~ A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? ~ If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. ~ But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? ~ If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. ~ Money talks. Chocolate sings. ~ Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. ~ If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top tights. An entire garment industry would be devastated. ~ Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
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