"The tree" joke

There once was a girl who loved goin up over the hills of her grandma's house. One day she was exploring and found a tree. This was no ordinary tree. It was a muffin tree. She loved muffins. She always came up to that tree and ate its muffins. But one day, she got tired. "
Why do you only grow blueberry muffins, muffin tree. Please make another muffin,"
she said. Now we all know that trees don't talk but that doesn't mean that they don't listen. The next day, there was a green, radioactive muffin on the tree. The girl tasted it. It was the best muffin she had ever had. But in three minutes, she fell over, dead.
The moral of the story is this... Never talk to muffin trees.

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because,' It's a lot of money!'

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her more...

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A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your more...

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