"The tree" joke
There once was a girl who loved goin up over the hills of her grandma's house. One day she was exploring and found a tree. This was no ordinary tree. It was a muffin tree. She loved muffins. She always came up to that tree and ate its muffins. But one day, she got tired. "
Why do you only grow blueberry muffins, muffin tree. Please make another muffin,"
she said. Now we all know that trees don't talk but that doesn't mean that they don't listen. The next day, there was a green, radioactive muffin on the tree. The girl tasted it. It was the best muffin she had ever had. But in three minutes, she fell over, dead.
The moral of the story is this... Never talk to muffin trees.
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.