"These Three Guys" joke
There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfie. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night, they would each get to choose the method by which they would die.
Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged, so he chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened, so they set him free.
The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free.
Next it was the Newfie's turn to pick how he was to be executed. He said, "I'm afraid of needles, the electric chair won't work so you're going to have to hang me."
A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:
The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do more...
Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench, and a bum comes up to them.
"Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"
The Polish guys look at each other, and one of more...
Maori falla trying to have sex with his girlfriend,
Maori falla " Ohhhh!!! come on babe we been going together for a month now, Pleeeeeeeeeeese!!!?"
Girlfriend " I know i want to to but im frighten something might happen! you know what i more...
A Cuban, a Japaneze guy, an American and a Mexican are in a boat.
The Cuban pulls out a box of cigars, takes one and throws the rest
in the water. He puffs twice and throws it in the water.
He says, "We have so many cigars in cuba, we can spare more...
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the more...