"Things Only Southerners Understand" joke

The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption.
Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
What general direction cattywumpus is.
That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.
When "by and by" is.
How to handle your "pot likker"
The best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of cold potato salad.
The difference between "purt' near" and "a right far piece"
The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.
Never to go snipe hunting twice.
Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody! But nobody!