"Things To Do In The Bathroom" joke

1. Extend your open palm under the stall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Cheer and clap loudly each time someone breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
3. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
4. Drop a marble and say, "Shit! My glass eye!"
5. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
6. Say, "Damn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain loudly for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Hummus. Reminds me of hummus."
9. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
10. Fill a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall wall of your neighbor while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
11. Say, "Hmmm... interesting... more sinkers than floaters."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Oops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
13. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
14. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy. Don't fall asleep on me."
15. Say, "Damn! I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dresser Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."