"Three Times" joke
Joe and Mabel are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
"Mabel, I've been wondering," Joe says, "have you ever cheated on me?"
"Oh Joe, why would you ask such a question now?" Mabel replies. "You really don't want to ask that question... "
"Yes, Mabel, I really want to know. Please," insists Joe.
"Well, all right, dear. Yes, three times," Mabel confesses.
"Three times? When were they?" asks Joe.
"Well, dear, remember when you were 30 and wanted to start your own business and no bank would give you a loan?" Mabel says. "Remember how the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"
"Oh, Mabel, you did that for me! I respect you more than ever, to do such a thing for me," Joe says. "So, when was number 2?"
"Well, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were seriously in need of that tricky operation, but no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?" Mabel explains.
"I can't believe it!" Joe exclaims. "I love that you would do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me, darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"
"Well, Joe, remember a few years ago, when you desperately wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 19 votes short?"
Not enough votes...